And sometimes I’m afraid it clouds my parenting judgement.
I let others determine how I should mother at times.
I don’t want to be that kind of woman.
I want to be the one that loves you so much,
that I can’t listen to anyone else, or care how they raise their children.
I want to be able to push out my doubts and rely on what I know is best for both of you.
I feel alone a lot as a mother.
I think that’s what causes part of my worry.
I want to be part of this “mom club”,
even if it doesn’t truly resonate with me.
But I want you to see me as a woman who follows her heart,
and not the path of others.
Everyday you both thank me.
You thank me for your food.
For holding your hand.
For dressing you.
You tell me that I’m the best mom.
You tell me that you love me and miss me
when we’re apart.
In your eyes, the only eyes that matter,
I am doing my job perfectly.
So this year, for you guys,
I won’t beat myself up for not being perfect.
I will not assume that every mistake I’m doing will
cause you trauma.
Thank you for thinking I’m doing this job well.